little life.

october 15th

2009-10-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

happy birthday dear gavin!!!

a monday.

2009-09-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

it was very nice out today.
the breeze was almost awkward. i had no idea how to welcome it.

my mom came to visit this weekend. it was nice.
she left this morning, i woke up a bit late.
i wasnt late to work, but i didnt wash my hair and it was greasy all day. i felt like an animal for a majority of the day.

I had class tonite, classic literature.

it smelled like metal
and i adored gilgamesh.

gavin went to crystals house for a football shindig.

sometimes i wonder if she is telling me the truth about gavin eating his dinner.
it flusters me.

i sent him with rainbow chile (hi im delicious)

i just finished my nickel and dimed summary. im pretty bummed its already 11:20.

i just finished my apple cider vintager routine

and had some of the strawberry cobbler i decided to make at 11 oclock last night.
i think theres a bit too much sugar. but the perfection of vanilla soyo has it pretty unnoticiable.

i gotta get gavins birthday invitations out.

well goodnight

mucus

2009-09-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

i wish i was a stay at home mom.

and i wish i knew more about pasta salad.

I have class on Monday Tuesday and Thursday. Somehow i showed up for my tuesday class on wednesday. more particularly somehow i transformed the knowledge of having wednesday off into having class on wednesday, because at some point.. i knew that english 102 was on tuesday, i'm not sure how i do these type of things. it seems very complex really.

even re-reading that paragraph made me slightly nauseous. im impressed that i spelled nauseous right.

i've grown a very strange affinity for sex and the city. i sit uncomfortably at the edge of my couch and watch it intently every sunday.
i bought a cosmopolitan yesterday. Christina saw it under the coffee table and reiterated how strange it was that i had a cosmopolitan.
i have found it very hard to focus on really. the information seems dehydrated, and the pictures feel like a narcotic. i tell myself throughout the day i should sit down and look at cosmo comfortably on the couch after i wash my face. and it just isnt happening accordingly.

i seem make a lot of lists, the habit has progressed, and they all seem to end up as a system of things i wont do in order.

and i want a food processor.

i have to stop eating dairy.
i remember my dad would always order my burritos without cheese, and when i was very fond of making my own decision i insisted upon my burritos having cheese. we argued about mucus for a bit and i ended up with a cheese burrito in our red nova. i started eating it immediately and opted to have a mucus argument in every drive through naugels (later to be bought out by del taco) until one day. we drove off, and i chocked on the cheese. i had to pull it out of my throat, like a string. i didnt eat cheese again for a very long time.
my parents divorced and i would have a night with my dad twice a month or so and by this time he was eating cheese and drinking beer. hiding snickers. taking pills. eating beef and reading.
he would always get metro pizza and i would strip it of cheese, but i would always request it and we would argue about me not eating the cheese. and how expensive metro pizza was.

until highschool where everyone at cheese.
i started eating cheese anytime i could.
i even made a tshirt that said i love cheese.
i would tell anyone i could that i love cheese.

now i eat cheese and im starting to mind that it makes me nauseous.
now that i have incorporated it in everything.

awkward.

and onto something more present.. im scared to cook anything outside of my regular menu.
i wish i knew why.

and im terrified of sweets.
and baking.

its 1200 abouts.

2009-02-12T15:02:00.001-08:00

what is changing your mind

do people ever get away with this?

ladys slipper

2009-02-04T16:43:00.000-08:00

I did take that bath. It was luke warm, and uncomfortable. the best part about it all was that i did it, and the smell of apricot salts.
it lasted about 10 minutes.

I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday.

They are in a biotic trash somewhere.

There is something about wisdom that is gaping.
It leaves a very particular core, or emptiness.
I have very truthfully always fought it.
there is an eye that shuts.

My mouth is throbbing.
more gently on the bottom than the top.

I hope jamie gavin dmitri and i come up with an herb garden that allows us fancy teas.
and enough vegetables to basket for people like anne the piano lady.

the flower of minnesota is a ladys slipper.
i just want to eat it.

it is about dinner time.

today it was inclined.

bits

2009-02-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

My son and i are moving to Minneapolis MN in 13 days

it can't help but feel like colonialism.
I'm not aiming for an India.
or a puerto rico. or places we don't even realize are dominated by the french.

i want to work on an america.

i am getting my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow morning.
all four.

i think tea time is very important.
and i like referring to things as organs.

maybe thats only because i had class tonight.

all of my books are packed, and then i get to missing them.
most of my room is boxed.

i think i might take a bath even though it's very late.
i will record the outcome.

im a bit behind.

today it was allowing.

snown

2008-12-18T01:43:00.000-08:00

today it snowed.

when it snows, it seems as though, that is all that will happen.

Pennsylvanian dutch dinner.
forgot to feed the fish.

i have 2 B's and i deserve that

my math grade is in atoms. he changed the final, and i followed my syllabus.
when i found my class empty. i cried infront of some native american in the computer lab. it made me uncomfortable so
i walked through the bathroom. washed my hands before i use the bathroom because i always do this with sinks. and a lady in a suit is in the sink next to me. its an information desk ma'am. she takes copies of my syllabus and walks me to the math department. they call me on friday saying someone should contact me by tuesday, then it snows.

gavin's pre-kindergarten teachers name is mrs goldsberry and tonight while we were laying in his bed he said my teachers name is holdberry because she holds berry's like that. hahahaahha. and then i said, its mrs GOLDS berry and her last name is that we because her family probably came to america a long long time ago and grew amazing berries. something made me want to talk about slavery and i refrained. i stuck with the latter topic, elves.

im not good at this whole gigantic lie of santa thing. but its the smoothest test of magicians. there are hardly any tricks about it. it's providence. more conservative than we could have ever hoped for. my motherhood is often more gratuitous than i can be.

today it was searching.

1

2008-12-17T00:44:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the first night.